Breaking the Silence: Understanding Domestic Violence and How to Get Help
By: Sheridan Wilson-Grooms
Domestic violence is a reality that too many people live with, often in silence. It’s not just about physical abuse, it’s about control, manipulation, fear, and isolation. It affects people across all backgrounds, genders, and economic statuses. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, you’re not alone, and there are ways to get help.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is any pattern of behavior in a relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over a partner. It can take many forms, including:
● Physical abuse: any form of physical harm
● Emotional abuse: manipulation, humiliation, gaslighting, etc.
● Psychological abuse: intimidation, coercion, isolation, etc.
● Sexual abuse: forced or unsolicited sexual activity, sexual degradation, etc.
● Financial abuse controlling financial accounts or abilities, not allowing a partner to work, etc.
This type of violence isn’t just limited to intimate relationships it can also occur in families, friendships, and even caregiver relationships. It is better to know the warning signs before it is too late.
Who is Affected by Domestic Violence?
Anyone can experience domestic violence, regardless of gender, age, or background. However, statistics show that women are disproportionately affected. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV):
● 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence. ● LGBTQ+ individuals also experience domestic violence at alarming rates, often facing additional barriers to seeking help.
While women more frequently report or experience domestic violence, men also suffer in silence, often due to stigma and lack of resources tailored to their needs. No one should have to endure abuse simply because they don’t fit society’s stereotype of a “victim.”
The Hidden Implications of Domestic Violence
The effects of domestic violence reach far beyond physical injuries. Victims often struggle with:
● Mental health issues: PTSD, anxiety, depression
● Low self-esteem & social isolation: a feeling of being trapped or alone
● Financial struggles: if they are economically dependent on their abuser
For children who grow up in abusive homes, the consequences can be even more devastating. Studies show that exposure to domestic violence can increase the likelihood of children developing behavioral issues, substance abuse problems, and even continuing the cycle of abuse in their own relationships.
Why Do People Stay?
One of the most common questions people ask is, “Why don’t they just leave?”
The truth is, leaving an abusive situation is much harder than it seems. Reasons people stay include:
● Fear of retaliation
● Financial dependence
● Concern for their children
● Love for their partner and hope that they will change
● Social or cultural pressures
● Lack of a support system
For many, leaving is the most dangerous time. Abusers often escalate violence when they feel they are losing control. This is why it’s crucial to have a safety plan before leaving an abusive relationship.
How to Get Help
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, help is available. Here are some steps you can take:
1. Reach Out for Support
It’s important to talk to someone you trust: a friend, family member, therapist, or support group. Speaking up is the first step toward breaking the cycle.
2. Create a Safety Plan
If you are planning to leave, a safety plan can help protect you. Some steps to consider:
● Keep emergency contacts written down
● Have a small bag packed with essentials (money, keys, important documents)
● Identify a safe place to go (friend’s house, shelter, or emergency housing)
● Change passwords and secure personal accounts
3. Contact a Domestic Violence Hotline
There are numerous organizations that provide support:
● National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788
● Love is Respect (for teens and young adults): 1-866-331-9474 or text “LOVEIS” to 22522
● RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) ● Local domestic violence shelters and legal aid services
These hotlines provide free, confidential support 24/7.
4. Seek Legal Protection
If you fear for your safety, consider obtaining a restraining order or seeking legal assistance if you are able to. Many local domestic violence shelters provide free legal advocacy to help navigate this process.
5. Financial Independence & Housing Support
Many victims stay in abusive relationships because they feel financially trapped. Organizations like
The National Network to End Domestic Violence provide financial assistance programs and resources for safe housing.
Supporting Someone Experiencing Domestic Violence
If someone you care about is experiencing domestic violence, here’s how you can help:
● Listen without judgment. They may not be ready to leave yet, and that’s okay. Talk to them, make sure they know you are there.
● Offer support, not pressure. Encourage them to seek help, but don’t force them to make decisions. Do not put too much pressure as they might want to isolate themselves due to the constant manipulation they experience.
● Help them create a safety plan. Offer to help research resources or provide a safe space if they need it. Also, send them resources or if you have not heard from them elevate the issue.
● Be patient. Leaving an abusive relationship is a process, and your support can make a world of difference.
Breaking the Cycle
Domestic violence thrives in silence. By talking about it, supporting survivors, and holding abusers accountable, we can begin to break the cycle. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please know that help is available. You are not alone, and you deserve safety, respect, and a life free from abuse.
If you need help, reach out. There is hope, and there is a way out.
